ABPD: Love Lawless
by lost puppy love
Summary: Zoro, a surly and dedicated police cop, is married to his profession. Can the arrival of brash new recruit Sanji shatter the monotony of his life? SanUso, ZoSan and... gasp! ZoUso! CHAPTER 5 NOW UP! Please R&R! PLEASE! Thankyou very much!
1. The New Guy

Greetings, my lovelies! I hope I find you well. This is the second of my fanfics that I'm going to make into a series, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

I'll try and update it as regularly as possible, but as you might notice, this first chappie's rather long… so please bare with me, I WILL get it done.

This first chapter has the main pairing of SanUso. I'm so glad to be back writing this pairing again. It's a lot of fun! XD This is also the first OP fanfic I have done that is not inside the comic's setting. I really hope it turned out all right!

As always, PLEASE R&R this, I shall love you forever and ever if you do!

The Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or it's characters. Eiichiro Oda-san takes care of them.

Please enjoy and **_REVIEW_**! Thankyou!

**ABPD: Love Lawless**

**Chapter 1: The New Guy**

Zoro hated mornings. When the air was damp, cold, and full of smog, when he had to walk several blocks to the station when everyone else had cars or motorbikes, when his uniform bore suspicious looking stains because he had no money for the launderette down the road.

Sure, his job was exciting, even dangerous at times- but compared to that, his home life was difficult and monotonous. It _sucked_.

Yawning, Zoro mounted the concrete steps up to the station entrance. He glanced wearily at the graffiti-strewn sign on the left of the door. ABPD- All Blue Police Department. This was Zoro's life, and the only stimulation he could afford.

As he trudged through the large glass doors into the foyer, he was met by his colleague, Usopp. Short-ish, curly haired, and with an intriguingly long nose, Usopp was the youngest member of ABPD. The guy was an ace with a gun, nothing could escape him- but he was also the biggest coward Zoro had ever met in his entire life. Busily reading a large sheath of documents, his brow furrowed in concentration, he suddenly walked into Zoro's shoulder with a soft bump, letting out a strangled yell of surprise.

"Argh! Ah… ah. It's you, Zoro."

Zoro rolled his eyes, helping to pick up the papers that had scattered across the floor. Usopp straightened up again, pushing stray hairs back into his ponytail, breaking into a cheery smile.

"Good morning!"

Zoro returned the smile tiredly, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"How the hell can you be so awake at this time of day?"

Usopp shook his curly head, his eyes wandering critically down Zoro's crumpled shirt. He let out a chuckle.

"God, Zoro, your uniform could sure do with a wash."

Zoro growled.

"Thanks for pointing that out, Einstein."

Usopp laughed again, narrowing his eyes at a stain on the older man's left leg.

"I just hope that's toothpaste on your pants."

Zoro swiped the back of Usopp's head with his hand, making his long nose collide painfully with his clipboard.

"Oooow…"

Suddenly, there was the sound of a slamming door, and an officer that Zoro didn't recognise strode jauntily out of the Chief's office, tucking in his shirt.

Zoro leaned in close to Usopp.

"New guy?"

Usopp nodded, beginning to speak in a tragic whisper that probably could have been heard by the entire room.

"He was moved here from a neighbouring city. There was a big shake-up at the station over there. A conspiracy involving the Mafia, a teddy bear, and whether or not it's legal to marry a horse."

Zoro raised his eyebrows.

"Well, perhaps I should go ask him."

Usopp shook his head warningly.

"Nuh-uh. He's very sensitive about it. His partner was forced into early retirement under unfortunate circumstances, so he had to be sent here."

Zoro gave Usopp a withering glare. The young man's eyes widened innocently.

"It's _true_!"

The new officer looked directly at Zoro, and headed towards him, hand outstretched.

"Hey there! Your Chief said that I should come and see you."

Zoro glanced at Usopp, who shrugged. The young man before him was tall, slender, with floppy blond hair that fell over one eye. He took Zoro's hand and shook it briskly.

"Officer Roronoa, right? I'm Sanji, your new partner."

Zoro's felt annoyance burn in his stomach. A _partner_? But Chief Inspector Nami had always said he did fine on his own. So why…

A neatly uniformed woman with large eyes and glossy red hair leaned out of a nearby door.

"Be sure to show him all the ropes, Zoro. I'm counting on you."

She flashed him a smile. Zoro ground his teeth, and replied with forced politeness.

"Yes, m'am."

The woman nodded and disappeared into her office. Zoro turned to his new partner, eyes narrowed, and saw that he was still staring at the Chief's door, grinning from ear to ear. The blonde turned to him, indicating the office with a jab of his thumb.

"Wow! If I knew they made them like that down here, I'd have dropped by sooner! What a _babe_!"

He chuckled mischievously. Zoro sighed heavily and loudly, steering his new colleague towards the entrance.

"You'd better watch out. The last guy that came on to her had to clean the men's bathroom with a toothbrush for three months. And if you really cross her, you'll be fired. Like _that_."

The blonde's eyes twinkled.

"Ooooh, really? Well, I like 'em fiery!"

Zoro overrode the urge to grumble under his breath. Could this guy get any more unprofessional? For someone who loved the job as much as he did, jerks like Sanji annoyed the _hell _out of him.

As they made for the door, the blonde man accidentally knocked into Usopp, who was busy checking documents again. He turned round.

"Oh, jeez, I'm sorry, honey."

Zoro had to suppress a choke of laughter. Usopp's eyes grew wide, and he flushed angrily.

"_Excuse_ me?"

Sanji expression turned to one of confusion, but it quickly melted into an apologetic grin.

"I mean, m'am. M'am. I'm very sorry for knocking into you."

Usopp flushed even more, and stormed angrily out of the foyer. Zoro turned a laugh into a hacking cough.

As they made their way down the steps, Sanji turned to Zoro.

"Christ, the gals round here are cold as ice! That one back there, she's got a crazy nose, but man, she's kinda hot, don't ya think?"

Zoro grinned devilishly.

"Oh, yeah. Really cute."

Sanji nodded, grunting his agreement. He poked a cigarette into his mouth, patting his pockets for a lighter. Zoro started, tugging the cigarette from the man's lips and throwing it into a nearby trashcan.

"Hey? What d'ya think you're doing?"

Zoro turned to him angrily.

"Firstly, you're not allowed to smoke on the job. And secondly, since you're meant to be _learning_ from me, you'll call me 'sir'."

The young man said nothing, kicking a can irritably. Zoro sighed, ushering the blonde man around the side of the police station, where the patrol cars were kept. Sanji brightened as Zoro took the keys from off his belt, and he reached out hopefully. Zoro clenched them tighter in his fist.

"_I'm_ driving."

Sanji muttered as he sat down heavily in the passengers seat. Zoro turned to the blonde man, who had his arms crossed, visibly grinding his teeth.

"Are you gonna sit there sulking like a little kid, or are you gonna pay attention?"

The blonde man turned his head slightly, shrugging as if to suggest he didn't know and he didn't care. Zoro pressed on.

"We have to patrol the East Side of town. We get some trouble round there, so this might seem like chucking you in at the deep end. But stick with me, you'll be all right."

"Nn."

Zoro eyed the young man disparagingly.

"How much experience do you _actually_ have?"

"I've been in the force for three months."

Zoro smiled defiantly, slotting the keys into the ignition.

"I knew it. You're just a puppy."

The blonde man growled, turning to gaze out of the window.

Zoro yawned, and, steering the car smoothly out of the allotment, drove into the bustling city.

* * *

About twenty minutes later, they had reached the notorious East Side of town. Sanji pressed his forehead to the glass, surveying the grubby apartments and vandalized walls with interest. He whistled.

"Woo-ee, what a dump! People actually _live_ here?"

As the car slowed in the heavy traffic, Sanji turned to Zoro, who stretched his aching neck painfully.

"Hey, uh… _sir_. I thought weirdly coloured hair was non-regulation. And I saw your earrings earlier on. What's with those?"

Zoro sighed at his partners' impudence.

"My hair is naturally this colour."

The blonde man raised an eyebrow. Zoro met his unbelieving gaze with irritation.

"Don't ask me to explain _why_ it is. It just… is. And I wear stud earrings on the job, if you must know. _That's_ allowed."

Sanji continued to stare at him.

"_Satisfied_?"

The blonde man faced slowly forward again, responding to Zoro's question with an infuriatingly aloof silence.

They sat there, not uttering a word, listening to the hubbub of the city outside and the hum of the engine. Zoro spoke, eyes still fixed on the car in front.

"If you don't prove to me that you're slightly better then _utterly useless_ today, I'll have that blonde mop of yours shaved off."

Sanji opened his mouth in protest, turning indignantly to the know-it-all ass sitting in the driver's seat. Upon seeing Zoro's mischievous smirk, he flopped angrily back into his seat, glaring out of the window.

"You're such a jerk."

Zoro cleared his throat loudly and deliberately. Sanji moaned.

"_Sir_."

Zoro grinned, but it quickly faded as the sound of screaming suddenly reached his ears. Craning to see down the road, Zoro saw a man running like hell along the sidewalk, clutching a woman's purse in his hand. He turned urgently towards the passenger's seat, eyes still fixed on the fleeing figure.

"Sanji, I'm gonna hand the car over to you, find somewhere safe to put it, then use your walkie-talkie to—"

He whipped round to see the passenger seat empty, the car door hanging open, and the figure of Sanji disappearing rapidly round the corner, in hot pursuit of the robber. Zoro swore loudly, steering the car quickly into an open space at the side of the road.

"What the hell does he think he's _doing_?"

He leapt out of the car, slamming both doors, swiftly dodging a couple of vehicles, before pelting his way around the corner after Sanji. He caught a glimpse of a blonde uniformed figure dart into an alleyway, and hurried after it, praying that nothing bad would happen.

Coming level with the alley, he gazed down it, hoping to see him- but there was no one there. Zoro hurried into the shadows; splashing through grimy puddles, fear rapidly gripping his body. Where _was_ he? What if he was injured? That boy was his responsibility, and if he came to any harm, it would be his entire fault.

Zoro ran faster, heart hammering, lost in the empty maze of back streets. _Please don't let him be hurt_. Alleyway after alleyway. Empty. _Please don't let him be dead._ Shadows. Empty darkness. _Please don't… _Rounding a corner, Zoro collided forcibly with another man, sending himself flying backwards onto the ground. Dazed, he sat up slowly, trying to make out the figure in the gloom.

"…Sanji?"

There was the sound of a cocking gun. Aimed directly at him through the darkness. An icy chill gripped Zoro's body, and he stood up carefully, raising his empty palms in front of him. He could make out the silver of the weapon in the dim light, cursing himself that he hadn't got out his own gun sooner. A trembling finger waited on the trigger, only a minute squeeze away from one dead cop.

As Zoro prepared to make a potentially fatal snatch for his own weapon, he heard a resounding _crack, _an echoing explosion, a searing bullet whistling past his right ear. Sanji emerged from the gloom, holding his gun steadily at the stunned form of the robber, who was crumpled on the floor. Sheathing his weapon, the blonde man bent down, hauling the thief against the wall and snapping a pair of handcuffs around his wrists. Zoro slowly put down his hands, feelings of relief, gratitude and confusion swirling around in his head. Sanji turned to him, studying the softly groaning man on the floor.

"Bring the patrol car round to the front, we'll get this asshole locked up nicely before the evening's out. Shouldn't be too hard, I've got the evidence right here… not that I want to tell a respected police cop such as yourself how to do his job."

The blonde man turned to him, his face sporting a cocky grin. Zoro was secretly taken aback when his stomach fluttered, an emotion that seemed rather different to embarrassment making his face turn pink. He shook his head, fastening a determined gaze on Sanji.

"Fine. Sure. Just… wait for orders next time."

The blonde man snorted and laughed, hauling the robber to his feet, and together they made their way out of the shadows and into the bright midday sun.

* * *

After having the robber locked in the overnight cells, Sanji and Zoro returned to the foyer. Zoro yawned and stretched.

"Well, I'm gonna head home. We have a night shift, so be sure to be back here by 10.00pm."

Sanji watched as the green-haired man made for the door, feeling slightly nervous. He started forward.

"Hey! Sir, wait!"

Zoro looked round.

"Yes?"

Sanji shuffled uneasily.

"There's, uh… something I forgot to mention this morning."

Zoro turned irritably to face the blonde man.

"What is it?"

"Well, uh… being my partner isn't your only job. You kinda… have to… let me _stay_ with you too."

Zoro opened and closed his mouth indignantly, anger beginning to boil in his stomach.

"What the- what? Who in God's name decided _that_?"

Chief Inspector Nami leant momentarily out of her office door.

"_I_ did, Zoro. Be a dear and set him up for a couple of weeks."

Zoro looked around desperately, and saw Usopp sitting at the front desk, determinedly avoiding his gaze.

"Usopp, help me out here! You know how small my apartment is! There's hardly any room for two people, let alone _one_!"

Usopp sighed, swiveling on his chair to look at the both of them.

"I'm sorry, Zoro, but it would be much more convenient if Sanji were to stay at your place. After all, it _is_ only for a couple of weeks."

Zoro made a protesting whimper in the back of his throat, wondering vaguely if he should face the wrath of the Chief and have the tagalong installed in a nearby hotel. Hardening his resolve, he turned towards the blonde man.

"Sanji, you could- "

Staring at the space where Sanji used to be standing, Zoro let out an exasperated groan. He heard Usopp's voice, high and irritated, in the background.

"I'm telling you, I'm a g –"

Sanji, his voice oozing with seductive flattery, interrupted him.

"So, you work here at the front desk, huh? You know, I have a certain weakness for secretaries."

Zoro saw Usopp's face turn a violent shade of crimson.

"I only work here as a volunteer. I'm normally an officer."

Sanji rested his hands on the desk, slowly encroaching on Usopp's space. Gazing at the flushed curly-haired vision, he let out a loud, lovesick sigh.

"You're an officer too? That's _amazing_."

His face was slowly nearing Usopp's, who was looking increasingly irate, shuffling papers on the desk irritably.

"Yes, that's right. An officer."

He met Sanji's lecherous gaze coldly, his voice low and laden with warning.

"I'm also very good with a _gun_."

The blonde man backed off slightly.

"Whoa, O.K, sugar. No need to get edgy."

Usopp got up suddenly, slamming his papers down on the desk.

"And for God's sake stop calling me those… those _names_!"

He shot Zoro an exasperated glance, turned on his heel, and stormed out of the room for the second time that day.

Sanji sauntered slowly back over to Zoro, craning to see Usopp's retreating figure disappear down the corridor. He eventually looked up at the green-haired man, chuckling roguishly.

"Oh man, she's _great_!"

Zoro began to doubt that Usopp would stay on the force much longer with that idiot wandering around. Sanji bent down, picking up two large cases from off the floor.

"Heh heh, sorry about that little delay back there. Let's get going! Don't worry, I packed my own bar of soap! Although I think I might need to borrow your razor. Can't go round without a shave, especially with gals like _her_-" he jerked his head towards the desk where Usopp was sitting- "-on the force!"

He winked at Zoro, whose eye twitched menacingly. But on imagining the livid face of the Chief looming at him when he refused to set up the blonde man, Zoro resigned himself to defeat. As long as he was quiet and washed his own socks, it wouldn't be so bad.

He looked up and saw Sanji standing by the doors, clutching his two bags.

"Come _on_!"

Zoro groaned. These were going to be the longest three weeks of his life…

**End of Chapter 1**

Phew! Chapter 1 done and dusted! XD Har har har! This time, the characters are on the right side of the law… I had real trouble trying to come up with a new fanfic. I really did. I wrote the beginnings of about two, but each time I thought they were awful and deleted them. Even though I know hardly anything about how the police works (sweat) I thought I might take a stab at a cop story anyway, just to see how it came out. This is a kind of obscure tribute to Sanami Matoh, who write the fantabulous shonen ai police cop manga FAKE, and who also has her own One Piece doujinshi circle, East End Club. SHE IS A GODDESS!

Don't ask me why I called it the All Blue Police Department. It sounded kinda catchy…

So yes. I hope you enjoyed this chappie, and hold on to your hats for the next one! Cheerio!


	2. That Funny Feeling

Hello everyone! Here I am again, taking another crack at One Piece fanfic stardom. I'm gonna keep trying on this one, I enjoy writing it, although I didn't get any reviews for the first chappie, except from my sister (not that I'm ungrateful) and it made me sad… (sniff) so please, if you read it, **_PLEASE_** tell me what you think! I'd like to know if it's good or not. Seriously. So, without further ado, onwards and upwards!

**ABPD: Love Lawless**

**Chapter 2: That Funny Feeling…**

"Well… here we are."

Zoro flicked a switch on the wall, illuminating his dreary apartment with the light of a single, bare bulb. Sanji shuffled past him, a travel bag under each arm, surveying his new surroundings with interest. The green haired man watched him intently, waiting for him to make some smart-ass comment about the state of the neglected wallpaper, or the thick layer of dust on the coffee table, or the unwashed pans and plates in the sink.

The blonde man turned to him.

Here it comes… 

"Where do you sleep?"

Zoro blinked, and pointed to a white door in the corner of the room.

"Uh… through there."

Sanji beamed.

"Great!"

The blonde man picked his way through the clutter on the floor, opened the bedroom door and stepped inside. Moments later, the sound of squeaking and banging reached Zoro's ears. He started angrily.

"Hey! Wait just one minute!"

He found Sanji bouncing up and down on the bed, testing it for comfort. He had already unpacked his bags, and a large majority of his possessions were now neatly adorning the room. There was even a picture of Sanji's family on the wall. Restraining himself considerably, Zoro grabbed the blonde's bags and hurled them out of the door, followed by as many of his belongings as he could reach. He turned to him, beginning to flush with anger, Sanji meeting his murderous glare with an equally poisonous look.

"I believe it's common practice for the guest to sleep on the _couch_. You're not here forever, so don't get comfortable! You may think you're smart for fooling around on the job, but so help me, when you're in _my_ home, _I_ make the rules!"

Sanji leapt up, his entire frame trembling. His fists were balled tightly, ready to smash Zoro's furniture, Zoro's body, anything.

"Excuse me, _Officer Roronoa_, but in case you've already forgotten, I saved your _life_ today. And, whether you like it or not, I – am – here – to – stay. So if you keep on pushing me around, maybe next time I'll think twice about saving your ass."

And with that, Sanji snatched his family photo off of the wall, shot one last ferocious look at his partner, and stalked out of the room.

Zoro stood for a moment, still seething. _Stupid jumped-up selfish know-it-all son-of-a-bitch._ _Who does he think he is… smart-aleck floppy-haired moronic space invader… _He slumped onto the bed, screwing up his eyes, trying to get the burning anger to fade from the pit of his stomach. _Maybe he **is** right. He did save your life today- he's the only reason why you're not six feet under right now. _Zoro placed a hand on his forehead, letting out a long, weary sigh. Sanji's face slowly filtered through his swirling thoughts, smiling that curious, knowing smile that made something inside him flutter. _Huh. That weird feeling again._ He shook his head slightly, making the image in his mind swim away. _I'm probably just hungry. The last thing I need to think about is **him**. God dammit, why me? Why why why…?_ His body slowly settled into a light sleep, worn from the effort of the day gone by, his dreams plagued with worry and stress, and the grinning face of that irrepressible stuck up jerk…

* * *

A while later, Zoro was woken by the smell of cooking food wafting into the room. Pushing himself slowly and wearily out of bed, he shuffled to the door and peered through the crack. Sanji was preparing what looked like a huge and very appetizing fried breakfast, even though it was almost 9.30pm. Opening the door a little wider, he noticed something else, too; the room seemed neater, and cleaner- the magazines, instead of being strewn all over the floor, were now neatly stacked on the coffee table, which itself appeared to have a notable lack of dust. Everything seemed brighter and fresher. He stepped slowly out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him, still trying to take in his apartment's significant transformation.

Sanji turned round, beginning to serve the food up onto two plates.

"Hey, you're awake at last! C'mon, we've only got half an hour before we have to be back at the station, so eat up now!"

Zoro sat down slowly at the table, rubbing his eyes and ruffling his hair sleepily, expecting to suddenly wake up and find that his apartment was still drab and lifeless. Sanji slid the last of the bacon on to his plate, quickly washed the pan, and then joined him at the table. Zoro looked up at him with an expression of gratitude mixed with drowsy bewilderment.

"Come on, eat!"

Zoro snapped up, nodding, and began to stuff his mouth ravenously. Sanji ate slower, holding his knife and fork in an oddly delicate manner. He glanced at Zoro, who had already cleared half of his plate.

"Oh, I also managed to clean your uniform."

Zoro looked up, about to shovel another forkful of fried egg into his mouth. Sanji smirked.

"It was _disgusting_."

The green-haired man looked down, smiling, absent-mindedly playing with the remnants of his food, feeling steadily more ashamed about his behaviour earlier on. He sat up a little, eyes still fixed on his plate. _I'm sorry._

"Sanji, I'm, um… "

_I'm sorry._

"Mm?"

"I'm, uh… um… s-s…"

Zoro's sentence trailed off weakly.

"Huh? I didn't quite catch that."

"I said the bacon was nice! It's nice! What, do I have to spell it out for you? I said the bacon was nice!"

Zoro dropped his knife and fork angrily onto the empty plate with a clatter. He looked up. Sanji sat there, slightly shocked by Zoro's outburst, but then shrugged and gathered up the cutlery for cleaning.

"Thanks… it was all right, I guess."

He dropped the plates into the hot water, and then looked over his shoulder, grinning.

"I'm sorry, too."

Zoro, who was now sipping a cup of scalding coffee, chocked slightly, and looked up at him in surprise. Sanji chuckled, his smile broadening, and turned back to continue cleaning the dishes. After a moments pause, Zoro realised that the boiling hot cup was steadily burning his hands without him even noticing. _Damn. That feeling again. _It seemed like it was getting stronger and more frequent, now accompanied by a dizzying numbness in his brain. Sanji bent over the table to pick up a glass, his syrup-coloured hair flopping over his face. He stood up, pouting, brushing the annoying little strands from around his flushed cheeks. He turned to Zoro.

"Is it just me, or is this kitchen starting to feel more like a volcano?"

Zoro shook his head, trying not to stare at the blonde, whose blushing, handsome face made his stomach do a somersault.

"I-I-t's a little hot in here, I guess…" said Zoro, who was now desperately keeping his eyes fixed on the slowly ticking clock.

Again. That feeling again. Maybe I'm coming down with something… 

Sanji bent over to stack the cutlery in a low down cupboard. Zoro's eyes wandered slowly and surreptitiously away from the clock's hands. _Oh my God. Did the Chief give him those pants? They're way to small, and way… way too… **tight**…_

Zoro let out a yelp as the blonde whipped round, snapping his gaze back onto Sanji's face.

"Are you gonna keep gawking at me, loverboy, or are you gonna change into your uniform? We have _ten minutes_ to get down to the station!"

The feeling vanished. Zoro stood up.

"I was not _gawking_ at you, numbskull! I'll get ready when I feel like it, not when you dictate me to!"

Sanji shrugged, unfazed by Zoro's rapidly escalating blood pressure.

"Whatever. As long as you weren't gawking. I'll have you know that I belong to… to…"

Sanji turned to him, his eyes hazy with a sudden swelling of romantic emotion.

"What's her name again?"

Zoro stared at him incredulously.

"Who? You mean the Chief, Nami?"

Sanji gave a dramatic, impatient sigh.

"No, idiot, you know the one! Fiery temper, tanned, black curly hair, long eyelashes… "

Zoro suppressed a snort, instead setting his face with a determinedly earnest expression.

"Oh! You mean _Usopp_."

Sanji's eyes lit up even more.

"Is _that_ her name? Usopp?"

The blonde man whipped around, heading for the bathroom.

"I could write a poem about her! 'Usopp, your name, like the wind blowing through the blossom on a summers day'… not bad, huh?"

Zoro grinned wickedly, gleefully imagining the curly-haired youth's livid face as he was read a corny sonnet straight from the heart of another man.

"I'm sure Usopp would _love_ it."

Sanji beamed.

"Then we've gotta get down there right away! _Come on_!"

* * *

It was now 10 at night, on the dot. The air was balmy, signifying that summer would soon be on its way.

Zoro and Sanji strode through the doors of the ABPD's main depot, into the cool and brightly lit foyer. Sure enough, they were met by Usopp, on his way out of one of the offices, busily neatening his uniform. He looked up, occupied by gathering his unruly curls into a short ponytail.

"Hey, Zoro."

He glanced coldly at Sanji, who wore an almost startlingly wide smile on his countenance.

"And… uh… oh. It's you."

Turning slowly and warily back to Zoro, Usopp checked the fastenings of the equipment on his belt.

"Did he settle in well?"

Zoro answered with a voice filled with laboured sincerity.

"Oh, yeah. _Really_ great."

Usopp chuckled.

"I thought he would."

In a split second, Sanji appeared at Zoro's side.

"I did all the cooking and cleaning! All before we got back here, too!"

Usopp raised his eyebrows and looked at Zoro for confirmation, who shrugged and nodded in reply.

Sanji's voice turned low and smooth, leaning in dangerously close to Usopp's face, whispering into his ear.

"How 'bout you come round and I show you how comfy the bed is…?"

Usopp choked and turned a fetching shade of beetroot.

"Ugh! In your _dreams_!"

Sanji chortled slyly.

"Well, of course. I haven't dreamt about anything else since I met you."

Usopp let out a furious growl, snatched a bunch of keys off his belt and slammed them into Zoro's palm.

"_Unfortunately_, the three of us have to keep watch on a warehouse together tonight. Now get the patrol car started. I want to make this as quick and _Sanji-free_ for myself as I can possibly make it."

* * *

The sky was now inky black, but a light dusting of stars was visible between the shadowy, dilapidated warehouse buildings.

The three men sat in the now discreetly parked patrol car, surrounded by darkness on all sides.

Zoro switched the headlamps off, turning to Usopp, who was sitting in the backseat, engrossed in his notebook.

"So, Usopp, what's the plan?"

Not looking up from his notes, Usopp opened up a small personal computer.

"This warehouse was subject to repeated raids a month ago, from black market dealers wanting to get their hands on expensive imported goods. All's been quiet for a while now, but we have to make completely sure that this place really is secure."

"So we sit here and keep watch."

Usopp tucked the notebook and computer back inside a small bag, nodding.

"We keep watch. Although it's actually very unlikely that we meet anyone… _unsavoury_ tonight."

Sanji turned around, grinning a lecherous grin. Usopp shuddered.

"Then again, I could be wrong."

Zoro stretched.

"Well, if you're sure that it's gonna be quiet, I might take a trip down to that all night donut and coffee place."

An even larger grin spread across Sanji's face. Zoro leant back inside the car, turning to Usopp.

"You want anything?"

Usopp shook his head vigourousy, at the same time mouthing 'Don't go!', and shooting wary glances at the angelically beaming blonde in the front.

Zoro sighed, giving Usopp an apologetic glance.

"I won't be long…"

Usopp watched as Zoro's figure disappeared into the city night, and thanked God that there was a wire cage separating the front and back seats. Well, at least he was _sort of_ safe from that lovesick maniac in the passenger seat. Letting out a slow, calming breath, he undid his ponytail, letting his curls flop down over his face. Maybe he could get a nap in. Hmm… but then again, falling asleep with someone like Sanji in the car might not be such a good idea. Wait… where _was_ Sanji?

The front seat was empty.

Usopp felt the darkness and shadows suddenly press down, seeping into the car. He shivered, huddling up in the corner next to the door. Sanji had disappeared. There was no one there. He hated being alone in the dark- especially in such a creepy place… anything could happen…

Suddenly, the door Usopp was leaning against flew open, and with a rather unmanly scream the curly-haired youth toppled backwards into Sanji's arms.

The blonde man grinned, his face looming through the dark just above Usopp's.

"Hey there! Caught you by surprise, did I? Sorry, sweetheart!"

Usopp pushed himself forcefully out of Sanji's arms and back into the car, straightening his uniform irritably.

"Yeah, well…"

He froze as he felt Sanji flop down next to him in the backseat, slamming the door behind him. Usopp composed himself, turning a glacial frown on the blonde man's grinning countenance.

"What do you think you're _doing_?"

Sanji let out a shout of mirth.

"Hey, it's not safe for a pretty girl like you to be all alone like that! You might get kidnapped right under my nose…"

He leant in closer, boring a blue-eyed gaze into Usopp, who now felt distinctly hot under the collar. Sanji wagged a finger at him, prodding the end of his long nose as he uttered each word.

"…and I'm _not_ about to let that happen."

Usopp shuffled backwards uneasily, but found that it didn't make much difference to the suffocating proximity of Sanji's face. He had nearly met with the cold of the glass window on the other side of the car, and realised with a thrill or horror that the door was insolvably locked.

"You look so nice with your hair down. You should do it more often."

Usopp shook his head quickly.

"I-I-I d-don't usually. I have to keep it up for work."

Sanji brushed the black strands of hair from around his eyes, and Usopp gulped, flushing, the trail of the blonde man's fingers still tingling on his face. Snapping out of his momentary stupor, Usopp tried to regain his cold, aloof manner, but to no avail, as an encroaching heat neared his face. His eyes were so wide now, they felt like they were going to fall out of their sockets.

"Sh-sh-shouldn't you get back in the passenger seat? Z-Zoro will be b-back any minute!"

Sanji's grin widened.

"Why should I do that? You seem to have warmed to me pretty well, my lovely Usopp-chan."

Usopp opened and shut his mouth like a fish in protest, but found no words to argue with. Eventually, he managed to squeak a reply.

"Uh… n-no! It's not like that! I-I'm a g-g-"

Sanji interrupted him.

"Oh, but it _is_ like that. Don't be embarrassed to admit it…"

The blonde man gave a warm smile, lessening the distance between them inch by inch. He was now unconsciously crushing Usopp's legs so that it was impossible to escape, and as the raven-haired man made one last desperate attempt to pull backwards, he ended up falling flat on his back, black curls flying across his face.

Usopp gasped in surprise, but any further objection was suddenly muffled by something very hot and wet being clamped down on his mouth.

He valiantly tried to fight off his crazed assailant, attempting to thwart the groping hands that seemed to be everywhere at once. At last he managed to grab both of Sanji's wrists, pushing him away to relieve some of the weight pressing down on him. Both were as breathless as if they had run a marathon. Usopp recovered slightly, a strange dizziness in his head that made him feel that he hadn't hated it as much as he would have liked to.

Sanji shook his head, his hair a disheveled mess.

"I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me… you were just _there_, and I was just _here_… and then…"

He fixed an innocent gaze on Usopp, who still caught up in the whirlwind of the blonde man's romantic tirade.

"…I just couldn't help myself."

Usopp gazed up at him, feeling… softened. But it wasn't right. _**He's** a guy, and **I'm** a guy… but he doesn't know that. Still, it didn't give him any right to… to go at me like that! It's just wrong! _The blonde man was nearing him again. Usopp suddenly met a resolve. Better end his miserable infatuation now, rather then have his heart broken by discovering the truth…

He looked up at Sanji, who returned his hardened gaze questioningly.

"You couldn't help it, Sanji? Well next time, I hope _this _reminds you to keep your hands to yourself!"

Mustering all his strength, Usopp brought a hard, bruising slap right across the blonde's face, sending him reeling backwards. Sanji slumped heavily against the opposite door, a thick trickle of blood beginning to drip slowly from his nose, spattering his new shirt. Usopp's eyes widened in horror, taken aback by the effect of his retaliation. He gulped, opening his mouth to stutter an apology, but nothing came out. The blonde man vainly attempted to wipe the blood from his chin, avoiding Usopp's worried gaze with red-rimmed eyes.

"Oh, Sanji… I'm… oh…"

Usopp reached out a tentative hand, but the Sanji shied away, eyes still fixed on the view outside of the rear window. A lump rose in the curly-haired youth's throat. He wanted to make it better. To brush the blood away from his fair skin. To say he was sorry. Sanji continued to stare out of the window. Usopp let out a choke.

"Sanji, please… "

As if in slow motion, the blonde man leapt forward, forcing Usopp onto the floor of the car. Usopp gasped, all breath crushed out of his body, trying to raise his head over Sanji's shoulder.

"Usopp! Stay _down_!"

There was the deafening sound of splitting glass, the rear window now peppered with small holes. The sound of gunfire rang through the air, ricocheting off the dilapidated walls and through grimy alleyways. Usopp pressed himself to the floor of the car as hard as he could, both of them showered relentlessly with jagged pieces of glass. The air continued to explode around them.

And then, silence.

Usopp remained stock still, his whole body shaking beneath the warm weight of Sanji's. His eyes were wide, fists clenched tightly on the blonde's shirt, listening to their fast and frightened breathing rip the uneasy silence of the night air.

"Are… are you alright?"

Usopp couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I'm fine! But what the hell are you asking _me_ for? Are _you_ O.K?"

The two of them sat slowly and carefully upright, making sure to remain unseen. Sanji began to continue brushing the dried blood from off of his chin.

"Yeah, I'm O.K… a little sore though…"

Usopp sighed sadly. The blonde laughed uneasily, gazing up at the almost non-existent rear window.

"I saw someone moving inside the warehouse… watching the car. They must have seen Zoro leave."

Sanji shook his head.

"Stupid dumbass. If he'd have just stayed put…"

Usopp looked up worriedly.

"Sanji, where _is_ Zoro? He's been gone a long time… too long."

Sanji placed his hand on the his gun.

"You're right. Come on."

Usopp nodded, his hair still flopping messily across his face. He drew his gun as well, following Sanji quietly out of the door and into the fractious night air.

They moved slowly together, glancing warily about them as they crept across the grimy courtyard. Suddenly, Usopp stepped on something that crunched loudly, sending a loud echo through the shadowy night. Glancing down, he saw that it was a paper cup, the coffee it contained collected in a small pool on the ground. Usopp gasped fearfully as he saw empty bullet shells littering the surrounding area, and then, something else… dark, red, glistening thickly with the watery coffee. He looked up at Sanji, whose eyes were also fixed anxiously on the shining puddle.

"_Zoro's… in danger_!"

**End of Chapter 2**

Oh my God, was that a marathon and a half! Did you like? (Hurhurhur… Zoro is such a little perv… XD ) Remember, please **_REVIEW_**! Thankyou very very very much!


	3. Mistaken Identity

Greetings all! Welcome to the third installment of my crazy police cop One Piece fanfiction thingy. Yes. Thankyou to everybody who has read and reviewed this story, you make me keep on truckin':D I've spent a lot of time thinking about this particular story (maybe _too_ much time… XD) trying to weave a suitable yarn that will remain fresh and exciting to read. My sister helps me out a lot (thankyou, dear sibling! X3) and we draw illustrations for the story and possible new chapters long into the night. I think I might scan them in and post a link up for them sometime. I love drawing fanart for One Piece. I seriously cannot stop drawing pictures of Sanji and Usopp. Over and over and over… XD I like drawing Zoro and Luffy too, but Zoro's hair is so hard to get right! Oooh, and there are so many lovely new SanUso fanfics popping up atm. Where will I find the time to read them? (sob)

Well, I've filled up too much page length already. Let's get down to business! Enjoy!

**ABPD: Love Lawless**

**Chapter 3: Mistaken Identity**

"_Zoro's in danger! We've got to find him!_" hissed Usopp, staring through the gloom at Sanji with wide, worried eyes. The blonde man nodded silently, scanning the grimy windows of the warehouse for signs of movement. He lifted his hand up slowly, pointing to a door in the corner that had been wrenched off its hinges.

"Let's go."

Eyes still anxiously sweeping the shadowy courtyard, the two men backed quickly through the narrow door, stepping into the absolute darkness of the dilapidated warehouse. Usopp slid a torch from his belt, switched it on, and began to slowly and shakily scan the looming towers of crates and the grimy, greasy floor. A huge, fat rat scuttled along an overhanging beam, it's shrill squeaks making Usopp jump and drop the torch with a resonating clatter. Both men flinched and held their breath, listening to the sound echo ominously through the building. Eventually, the eerie silence returned, broken only by the dripping plumbing and the scuffling of elusive night creatures.

Usopp gulped, quickly withdrawing his vice-like grip on Sanji's arm. He was pretty sure that he could see the white of Sanji's teeth grinning mischievously at him through the darkness. _Don't start giving him ideas…_

The silence was suddenly broken by the sound of hurried footsteps pounding up a flight of stairs just ahead of them. Sanji immediately leapt into pursuit, snatching Usopp's torch off the ground and vaulting a pile of crates to reach the stairs. Usopp started, scrambling up the mound of boxes to follow the flickering light of the torch.

"S-Sanji! _Wait up!_"

Sanji mounted the metal steps three at a time, flinging himself into an all-out sprint after the intruder. The second floor was cavernous, with a long, straight stretch through huge mounds of rotting wooden crates. Usopp was in hot pursuit just a little way behind, trying to keep sight of Sanji darting in and out of the shadows. The air suddenly exploded with the sound of a gunshot, the bullet narrowly missing Usopp and striking a crate to his left.

The blonde man stopped abruptly, aiming his gun, firing it directly at the back of the shadowy figure. His shot ricocheted off a large crate, the intruder slipping to his knees on the grimy floor to escape the bullet. Sanji yelled to Usopp through the darkness.

"Usopp! Take him down! _Shoot him!_"

The curly haired youth skidded to a halt, shaking his head.

"I can't! I might… I might k-kill him!"

Sanji grabbed him painfully by the arm, swinging him behind a large crate as another bullet clipped a box where he was just standing, showering them both with splinters.

"Well, he certainly doesn't seem to have a problem with finishing _us_ off! Do it, Usopp! Shoot him _now_!"

Usopp whimpered, gun clasped in his trembling hands. Another bullet burst through the air, this time grazing Sanji's shoulder, making him cry out in pain. Usopp froze momentarily as the blonde man stumbled backwards, his gun clattering to the floor. Whipping back round, he saw the silhouette of the intruder scramble to his feet again, about to make for the door at the end of the cavernous room. Usopp raised his gun steadily and decisively at arm's length, leveling it with his eyesight. He braced himself, his breath trapped in his throat, aiming the weapon squarely at the fleeing figure. He squeezed the trigger. Everything around him momentarily ripped apart, the force of the shot pressing wave after wave of heat and deafening noise through the air.

The intruder was stopped in his tracks, falling, as if in slow motion, to his knees, his cry of surprise and pain piercing the momentary stillness of the air.

Usopp froze, his eyes widening in horror, lowering his weapon stiffly in his trembling hands.

_That… that voice!_

Sanji appeared at his side, clasping his bloody shoulder.

"Wow, what a shot! You got him all right!"

He let out a hoarse laugh, but stopped when he saw the petrified expression on Usopp's face. The black haired man gazed, shocked, at the lifeless figure who was now illuminated by the dim light of the moon filtering through the small, grimy windows. Sanji gazed at him questioningly.

"Usopp…?"

The curly haired youth suddenly sprinted forward, down the narrow grimy path between the mountains of crates, throwing himself onto his knees at the side of the motionless figure. He choked, clasping his arms around the body, trying to heave the dead weight onto his lap. A foul wave of realization washed over Sanji, and he ran to the side of the crouched figure of Usopp, who choked again, still hunched over the limp figure. _An officer's uniform… _The blonde man's world momentarily reeled. Usopp pulled the body further into the pool of light, blood beginning to soak slowly into his shirt. Sanji gazed down at it helplessly, listening to the shuddering gasps of his partner breaking the deathly still air.

It was Zoro.

Sanji turned his back on the scene, placing his hands over his eyes, wanting the cold and the shadows to swallow him up. He had told Usopp to shoot him. He was responsible. It was all his fault.

Through the darkness, a low, strained whisper uttered from the still figure's lips.

"H… hey… Usopp… I saw the crooks… but… they got away. S-sorry."

Usopp let out a whimper of gratitude, brushing the rivers of tears from his cheeks. The green-haired man writhed slowly and painfully on his lap, his shirt now slick and wet with blood.

"Zoro! Y-you're all right!"

The man smiled and gazed up at him blearily, but then flinched and squirmed in agony, clasping his chest with a bloody hand. Usopp grasped the man tighter to him, trying to lift the much larger body from off the ground, slipping in the grimy sludge around them. He looked back desperately at Sanji, who stood silently away from the scene, hidden in the shadows. Usopp slipped painfully to his knees, still grasping Zoro tightly in his arms, the green-haired man beginning to slide in and out of consciousness.

"Sanji! Please, help me!"

The blonde man didn't move at first. His whole body felt almost paralyzed with relief. Usopp slipped again, and Zoro groaned in pain.

"_Sanji!_"

He stepped out of the shadows, bending down to take Zoro's legs, while Usopp lifted his upper half by holding him under the arms. Together they lifted him slowly off the ground, and Sanji looked across at Usopp, who was awkwardly bracing the sagging torso of the green haired man. Zoro groaned again. Sanji sighed, still slightly euphoric from relief. _He isn't dead. Thank God. _

He grinned.

"Let's get him outta here."

Usopp nodded, his face still shining from tears, sniffing heartily.

"Yeah."

* * *

A week later, Zoro was at home, sitting up in bed, wolfing down a large plate of Sanji's cooked breakfast. A large bandage was wrapped around his bare chest, and every so often Zoro would flinch at the dull ache emitting from it. Sanji poked his head around the door, busily drying a glass.

"Is it good enough, sir? Do you forgive me yet?"

Zoro gazed at him slyly, licking his lips.

"Maybe… but I might need another plate to be convinced."

Sanji groaned, stepping into the room to take the empty dish. The sound of the doorbell suddenly rang through the apartment. The blonde man started, snatching the plate and streaking out of the room, then running back in again, straightening ornaments and dusting furniture.

"Hurry hurry hurry! No time for another breakfast now, Zoro, Usopp's here!"

Zoro gazed at his empty hands, then yelled in surprise as a balled up shirt hit him in the face.

"C'mon, put some clothes on! We have a lady guest!"

Sanji stood still and gazed into space for a moment, his eyes glittering distantly.

"And _what_ a lady! The way she fired that gun… it was like… like…"

Zoro grimaced in annoyance.

"Hey! Usopp nearly _killed_ me!"

Sanji sighed, closing his eyes, and drifted out of the room.

"…like _magic_."

Zoro rolled his eyes, slowly and painfully pushing his arms through the shirt's sleeves, but not bothering to do up the buttons. The doorbell rung again, more irritably this time, and Zoro heard Sanji go to answer it.

"Coming, oh my brave, beautiful and talented Usopp-chan!"

There was the sound of the door opening, and two sets of footsteps approaching the bedroom door.

"You look so _lovely_ today, Miss Usopp!"

"Uh… thanks. How's Zoro?"

Zoro snorted, imagining Sanji carelessly waving Usopp's question aside.

"Oh, yeah, he's fine. Eats like a _horse, _mind you."

Usopp's voice brightened.

"Then that sounds like he's getting better! Can I see him?"

"Uh… in a minute. Here! I… um… bought you some flowers."

"Er… Sanji? Those are _my_ flowers. I sent them down here three days ago."

Silence.

"He's through there."

Zoro looked up, and saw Usopp opening the door tentatively, as if he were afraid of a sudden attack.

"Hey, Usopp! Come in."

Usopp entered the room gingerly, gazing tearfully down at Zoro, who beamed up at him, looking well, but slightly worse for wear. Sanji stood behind him, eyes slightly narrowed, his pupils darting suspiciously between the two of them. He turned to leave for the kitchen.

"I'll… go make some tea. Be back in a moment."

Zoro couldn't help laugh at Usopp's trembling lip.

"I'm _all right_, Usopp. Sanji explained what happened."

Usopp's lip trembled even more violently. Zoro laughed nervously.

"I'm O.K, Usopp! Really!"

Usopp let out a strangled gasp, fat tears beginning to well in his eyes and pour down his cheeks.

"Z-zoro! I'm s-s-so sooooorrrrrryyyyyy!"

Zoro looked around desperately, Usopp now standing in the door, whimpering and snuffling loudly.

"Oh, jeez… don't _cry_! Thanks for worrying about me, but seriously, if you start bawling, Sanji'll _kill _me!"

Usopp gulped, blowing his nose on a hanky.

"But I was s-s-so worried! I though you were…" -he gave a trembling sniff- "…d-dead for sure! I would never have been able to f-f-forgive myself!"

The curly haired youth began to wail loudly, sobbing into his small hanky. Zoro tried to sit up straighter to console him, but flinched and groaned as his wound gave an unpleasant twinge. Usopp gasped, tears continuing to trickle freely down his face, and kneeled on the end of the bed, beginning to crawl towards Zoro, sobbing heartily.

"Oh, n-no! I'm s-sorry! I'm just making you hurt yourself more! Here, I'll help you get comfy!"

"Hey! Wait a sec…!"

Zoro squirmed desperately, praying that Sanji wouldn't come in and discover Usopp floundering on the bed with him. Usopp reached out and tried to help Zoro sit up a little more, supporting him beneath the arms. At that moment, Sanji burst through the half closed door, calling to Usopp in a loud, out-of-tune singsong voice.

"Usopp-chaaaan? What would you like with your tea? Chocolates? Cake? A ten-course buffet? Anything that my Usopp… chan… desires…"

Sanji stared down at the pair on the bed. Zoro, half caught by surprise and half wracked with pain, had caught Usopp by the shirt and fallen backwards, taking the other man with him. The curly haired youth was sprawled in a rather compromising position on top of him, arms still trapped under Zoro's back. They both turned, slowly and reluctantly, to meet the livid stare of Sanji, whose face was beginning to turn a violent shade of purple.

"Oh, I get it now. Clear as day."

Zoro glanced nervously from side to side, Usopp fearfully sliding off the bed, pulling down his shirt and neatening his disheveled hair.

"Get? Get what?"

Sanji let out a short, mirthless laugh.

"Oh, stop acting like you don't know. You're my rival."

Zoro flinched again at the pain of his wound, lying slowly back down.

"Rival? Your rival in what, exactly? I could easily beat you at most things."

Sanji jabbed an accusing finger at Zoro.

"Ah _ha_! I knew it! You've been secretly trying to muscle in on my territory! Well let me tell you, Officer Roronoa, I have my foot well and truly stuck in the door, so you're _too late_!"

Zoro gazed up at him incredulously. Usopp shuffled uneasily on the spot, trying not to catch anyone's eye.

"What the _hell_ are you talking about?"

Sanji gestured to Usopp, who massaged his forehead distractedly, becoming suddenly fascinated with a speck on the wallpaper.

"_You_ are in love with _her_."

Zoro choked and laughed incredulously.

"In love with _Usopp_? I don't think so!"

Sanji made an impatient noise and folded his arms.

"_Denial._"

Zoro, temporarily lost for words, sat with his mouth agape. Sanji leered at him slyly.

"I'll have you know that, on the night we went to the warehouse… something _happened_ in the backseat of your patrol car."

Zoro's look of incredulity turned to one of disgust, and Usopp turned to Sanji, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Would you _shut up_?"

Sanji shrugged, making apologetic gestures with his hands.

"Hey, don't worry about it, sweetheart. Zoro will back right off once he's heard about what happened between you and me."

"It was _not_ how you make it sound." Usopp muttered through clenched teeth.

Sanji turned a defiant stare on Zoro.

"When you shot at me that night, I would bet my life that you knew it was me all along. Sure, you say you _thought_ I was an intruder, but maybe you were just trying to get rid of me, so I was out of the way, once and for all. But it's all right, I understand. Love can make people do desperate things…"

Sanji shook his head as he said this, a saintly expression upon his countenance. Zoro's expression turned from one of confusion to red-hot anger. He sat bolt upright, feeling his whole body seethe with fury.

"_How **dare** you even suggest that?_ _I would never even **think** of killing a fellow officer, no matter how brainless and pig-headed they are!"_

Sanji backed towards the door slightly, shocked by Zoro's furious outburst. The green haired man turned to Usopp, whose knees were knocking in terror.

"What did he do to you in the car, Usopp?"

Usopp bowed his head in shame.

"He… he, uh…"

Sanji giggled like a schoolgirl.

"It was so much fun! Even though you did nearly knock my nose off afterward…"

Usopp straightened up, tossing his curls defiantly.

"He _sexually harassed_ me!"

Zoro gave a murderous grin.

"Right, then. I may have missed my opportunity at the warehouse, but I can certainly have another crack at it…"

He leapt out of bed, striding towards the rapidly retreating figure of Sanji, addressing him in a low, dangerous voice.

"_I – am - gonna – **kill - you**._"

Sanji let out a terrified yelp, scrambling for the door. Usopp couldn't help laughing. The two men rushed out of the door, followed by the sound of more yelping and some loud thumps.

"G-Get lost, moss haired freak! I'm a-a-armed!"

"If I can't be killed by a bullet, then I certainly can't be killed with a saucepan."

"Get _awaaaaay_! HELP, USOPP! HEEEELP!"

"Come here! I just wanna talk to you…!"

Usopp folded his arms, listening to the ruckus outside. Those boys… fighting over little old me… Usopp flicked his hair and batted his eyelashes in a nearby mirror, striking a seductive pose with one hand on his hip. _Hmm… maybe I could carry on with this little game a while longer._ Outside, Sanji screamed like a woman, followed by an ear splitting crash. More yelling. More thumps. Usopp chuckled. _Who knew mistaken identity could turn out to be so much **fun**…? _

**End of Chapter 3**

Well, that's the end of the third chappie, folks! I hope you enjoyed it. I don't know… was it a little confusing? Heh heh. Sanji the perv. Ooh! It's Christmas Eve today! I seriously cannot WAIT for Christmas. This year's gone so quickly, what with me leaving high-school and all, so it's been a very exciting year, too.

Oh! And I've also set up a new One Piece forum here on 'The One Piece Yaoi and Shonen Ai Forum' in fact, so please come along and drop a post or two! All pairings can be discussed freely! (pluggedy plug plug…) XD

Please review, and stick around for the next chappie! Xlovex Till next time! Yoy!


	4. No Shirts No Shorts Big Problem

Hi everyone! Gosh, I haven't renewed anything for a while, have I? Gomen nasaiiii! I promise I'll be quicker in future, otherwise everyone will lose interest, won't they?

Oh yes! I was reading my lovely reviews (thankyou very much to everybody that wrote them!) and I saw that someone (I'm very sorry, I can't recall the name) pointed out that at the end of chapter 3, Sanji probably wouldn't run away from Zoro when he made a lunge at him. No, I'm not going to murder them for pointing that out, because they're quite right! Sorry about that. I honestly didn't think of that at the time, and they probably would have beaten each other to a bloody pulp _if_ they had been in character. So thanks for pointing that out! I'll remember to keep a check on their behaviour in future.

Ooh, and another thing- this fanfic is set over approximately three weeks, and Zoro recovers from his (rather serious) gunshot wound in an inhumanly short amount of time. My point being? Well, most mortals would probably still be in intensive care by the time that Zoro is chasing Sanji around his apartment. Well, I just thought, it's _Zoro_. He survives practically anything if he gets enough sleep… So, there's my explanation.

Alrighty! On with the show. Prepare for the latest installment of the rampantly OOC fanfiction production-

**ABPD: Love Lawless**

**Chapter 4: No Shirts- No Shorts- Big Problem!**

Night duty at ABPD headquarters. Spring had well and truly turned the corner, and now a huge and unexpected heat wave had hit the area- wherever you looked, people were lounging around, fanning themselves with anything they could find, crowded into the nearest scrap of shade. Even though it was now past sundown, the heat was still stifling, pressing down like a huge, heavy blanket, completely inescapable.

Zoro, Sanji and Usopp were slumped in the office situated behind the foyer desk, at the mercy of a depressingly small electric fan placed in one corner. Usopp groaned and ran a finger around his collar, resting his cheek on a deliciously cool filing cabinet.

"I think I'm gonna _die_."

Sanji had two sheaves of documents, one in each hand, simultaneously fanning himself and Usopp. Zoro was collapsed on a desk in front of a window, trying to catch a non-existent breeze. Sanji mustered the last of his strength to irritably kick the back of Zoro's chair.

"Go and fix the air conditioning unit, Zoro. I can _not_ take much more of this."

The green haired man peered over one shoulder, not making any effort to move.

"The repair man's out of town. Just shut up and die quietly like the rest of us."

Sanji ground his teeth, again kicking the back of Zoro's chair with his heel.

"Then get us something to drink. When I _do_ die, I want 'Beloved Hero' on my gravestone, not 'Death by Melting'!"

Zoro groaned, peeling himself from the table and making his slow and painful way out of the door and down the corridor.

"Fine. If it means I can get away from your griping for at _least_ a second. Jeez…"

Usopp flopped back in his chair, listening as the ancient electric fan gave an unhealthy clank, eventually stopping altogether. He gave a long, exasperated groan, feeling the temperature of the room beginning to soar once again.

"Awww, to _hell_ with it!"

Usopp tore his tie from around his neck, unbuttoned his shirt to a few inches below his collarbone, and wrenched the band from around his hair so that it tumbled about his shoulders. Feeling slightly cooler, he spun around in his chair cheerily, pushing the few strands of hair that were sticking to his face behind his ears.

"There. _Much_ better. I can do work now!"

Fortunately, he hadn't noticed Sanji gawping shamelessly at him from behind the filing cabinet.

_Yow! What a **woman**! _

The blonde pushed himself along on his chair with his feet, shifting to get a better view.

_Hmmm… **shorts** today…_

Sanji rubbed his hands together gleefully, and then took a packet of half-melted lollipops from his pocket. Pushing one into his mouth, he wheeled himself so he was situated next to Usopp at the desk, gazing at him with puppy-like awe.

Usopp slid on a pair of reading glasses, resting them on the end of his nose. _Let's see… this goes here… and… this needs signing by the chief… this should be mailed tomorrow… _The curly haired youth certainly took pride in his job, as it was his secret wish to become the Head of Department. He would do things a lot differently… Usopp glanced down at his legs. _I'm sure glad that I wore shorts today. The other guys most be practically roasting in their pants. _He admired his long, bronze limbs with proud interest. _Yep. All those high-school gym trials and police training really paid off. I bet any girl would kill for a pair of these, and I…_

Usopp looked up. What was that _hissing_ sound? A snake, maybe…? He turned, meeting the glassy, adoring gaze of Sanji, who was slowly and thoughtfully slurping on a lollipop. Usopp wrinkled his nose.

"Can I… _help_ you?"

Sanji pulled the lollipop packet from out of his pocket, drawing out a glistening cherry-flavour.

"Want a wowwipop?" he slurped indistinctly, the adoring, wide-eyed stare still fixed resolutely on him.

Feeling slightly suspicious, the curly haired youth weighed the question in his head for a moment. He shrugged.

"O.K. Thanks."

Placing the sweet between his lips, he continued working, a small chorus of slurps now breaking the studious silence. Sanji was now struggling to keep a painfully wide grin from spreading across his countenance. _Entertainment sorted. Lollipop, glasses, shorts… hmmm. Pretty police cop, maybe? Sexy secretary? Hot librarian? The possibilities were endless… _

The slurping and silence continued for a few more minutes. Usopp looked up from his work again, taking the lollipop from his lips and examining it. Sanji stirred from behind him, muttering under his breath.

"Put it back. You're ruining the effect."

Usopp furrowed his eyebrows, turning to face him.

"Did you just say something?"

Sanji straightened up, gesticulating apologetically.

"No, uh… no! Just… uh… keep up the good work, doll!"

Usopp made a disgusted noise, returning to his work. There was some loud shuffling in the background, the flick of a switch, followed by a grating blare from the radio.

"What the-? _Sanji_!"

The blonde shrugged, twiddling the dials to tune in to a station.

"It's too quiet!"

Usopp slammed down his pen, scattering papers on the floor.

"I'm trying to work here! This is too much! _Too much, you hear me_?"

But it was no use, as his voice was suddenly drowned out by a wall of sound-

_**Get down, make love**_

_**Get down, make love…**_

_**Get down, make love!**_

A wave of nausea began to creep into Usopp's stomach.

"Oh, God…"

Sanji steadily turned a wide, lecherous grin in Usopp's direction.

_**You take my body,**_

_**I give you heat…**_

Sanji struck out behind him with his left foot, kicking the door closed with a muffled slam. Taking a long, labourious look around the room, he began loosening the tie from around his neck, undoing the top button.

_**You say you're hungry,**_

_**I give you meat!**_

Usopp began to crush a piece of paper nervously between his hands, small pieces of it starting to litter the floor. _It was all true. I should have listened! I should have listened, dammit! What Zoro said earlier… _the face of the green-haired man flashed momentarily through his mind.

_Err… Usopp? Why'd you shave your legs?_

Usopp had waved the question off with slight embarrassment.

_Well, you know… I just… my hair is so **dark**, y'know, and uh… it had to go. Haha. _

Zoro had raised an eyebrow. _That's, um… great, but, do you know how… **unmanly** that makes you look? _

Usopp cringed.

_**I suck your mind…**_

_**You blow my head!**_

He snapped his head up, just in time to see a shirtless Sanji.

Right there.

Shirtless.

_Shirtless?_

SHIRTLESS!

"_Oh m-my God! What the hell are you doing? Put it back on!_"

Usopp had involuntarily covered his eyes, waving his free hand in a vague direction towards Sanji. Peeking through a gap in his fingers, he could just see the blonde's shirt tastefully decorating one of the strip lights overhead.

"Usopp-chaaaan…"

"What? G-go away!"

"Why are you acting so shy, Usoppu-chan? I'll be nice!"

"Shut up! Put your sham dirt back on! I mean your damn shirt! Your _shirt_! Put it back on! What the _hell_ is Zoro going to think?"

Usopp tried to back his chair into a corner, desperately trying not to make eye contact.

"Hmm. I don't _see_ a Zoro anywhere…"

Usopp made another hasty attempt to wheel back his chair.

_Why in God's name is this happening **again**? Can't he take a hint? _

Something was stopping him from going any further. But it wasn't the wall…

_**Make love!**_

_**Inside your bed… **_

_**Everybody get down, make love…**_

Sanji had a hold of his shirt collar.

Usopp's gaze wandered reluctantly up Sanji's bare torso, meeting his steel-blue gaze uncertainly. His thin, smooth lips were mouthing the words of the song, eyes steady and focused, directly on him. Drinking him up.

_**I can feel it, when you break me…**_

_**Come on so hard, when you take me!**_

"Sanji…"

"Usoppu-chan…"

The black haired youth took a huge, readying breath. He forced his expression into what he could only assume was a seductive half-smile, fluttering his eyelashes demurely. Sanji smirked, beginning to home in on those coral-pink lips, stained unevenly by the cherry lollipop that now lay forgotten on the floor.

"Sanji-kun, there's something… I…"

Sanji raised an eyebrow, eyes half closed. He was almost there…

"Can't it wait?"

Usopp rested an arm on the back of the chair, raking one hand through his thick jet curls. He looked innocently up at the ceiling, crossing one leg over the other, making sure that the smooth bronzed skin momentarily caught the light. Sanji rolled his eyes and whimpered in ecstasy. _At **last**! _Usopp let out an airy chuckle.

"Oh, well, you know… it can't _really_ wait, because, you see…"

Strong, bare arms began to wind around his torso. Hot, tobacco-laden breath made the stray hairs across his cheeks flutter. A pause. Sanji was so close now, just waiting. A defiant smile flickered across the blonde man's lips. He could already anticipate the taste… Usopp tossed his hair slightly, making sure to give him the most enticing smile that he could muster.

"Sanji-kun… I'm a _guy_."

Sanji froze, eyes wide, darting over the curly-haired man's features.

"Eh?"

Usopp writhed seductively in Sanji's frozen grip, peering out from beneath glossy black curls and angelic eyelashes.

"I am a G-U-Y." he said, simply.

Sanji's expression was hard to decipher- one couldn't tell whether it was horror, surprise, disbelief, or maybe all these thrown together with a few extras added in. Usopp grinned. He was thoroughly enjoying this. Sanji's bottom lip began to tremble.

"Ah…aaaah…"

Usopp sighed and massaged his temples. What he was doing was incredibly evil, but… it just _had_ to be done.

"Aaah… aha.. AHAHAHAHA!"

Usopp jumped in shock. Sanji had let go of him, and was now clutching his stomach, tears of uproarious laughter pouring down his face.

"Usoppu-chan, you're too much! Ahaha… that's the best thing I've heard for months!"

The black-haired youth's expression had turned from smug jubilation to stony disbelief.

"Huh?"

Sanji wiped away a tear from under his fringe, still grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh come _on_, Usoppu-chan! I can smell from a mile off when a girl's just playing hard to get. That one was the best yet!"

Usopp's spluttered, opening and shutting his mouth like a fish hit on the back of the head with an oar.

"W-_WHAT_?"

Sanji stopped laughing abruptly, in a split second grasping the arms of Usopp's chair, towering over him. The long nosed youth began to slide uneasily down in his seat, wondering if it was possible to make an escape between Sanji's legs.

"You're right. We're wasting time. Let's just _do_ it."

Sanji scanned the room furtively, eyebrows furrowed. Usopp squeaked fearfully.

"…how clean is your _desk_?"

Usopp's mouth gaped in momentarily silent horror.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_"

The curly haired youth made a desperate, vicious upper cut with his right foot, catching Sanji hard and decisively between the legs. The blonde made a high-pitched whimper in the back of his throat, eyes watering, keeling slowly over sideways onto a filing cabinet. Usopp, spying his chance, leapt up, making a full throttle pelt for the door. Throwing it open hard enough to tear it off its hinges, Usopp flung himself headlong into something firm and soft standing just outside.

"Ow! What the…?"

Usopp looked up, meeting the quizzical gaze of Zoro, who was clutching three bottles of water. The long nosed teen gave a whoop of jubilation, flinging his arms around Zoro's middle.

"ZOROOOOO! Where have you been? Where _have_ you been?"

"Well… it turns out that the water tank was broken too, so I had to go out and buy some."

Usopp wiped his streaming eyes, setting his glasses straight again.

"Usopp? What's the matter? Where's your tie? And… Sanji? Where's your _shirt_?"

Sanji, one hand caught between his legs, pointed shakily to the strip light above his head, making a pained groan in the back of his throat. Zoro looked from one to the other.

"What the hell happened? I leave you two alone for one minute…"

Usopp grabbed Zoro's sleeve, tugging on it irritably, tears beginning to well up in his eyes once again.

"I-I-I tried t-to tell him, Zoro! I t-tried! I _did_!"

Usopp's entire face went crimson, his eyes bloodshot, his bottom lip quivering more violently then ever.

"M-my, _desk_, Zoro! He wanted t-to… MY D-E-E-E-E-E-S-K!"

"For crying out loud! What did he do to your desk?"

"Oh, d-don't make me say it! It's not what he did _to _it, it's what he was going to do _on_ it… oh Zzzzzoroooo! Oh God!"

"Err… _oh_."

Sanji grimaced, sitting down slowly and painfully on the nearest chair.

"Don't worry, I've paid my price… nothing valuable was damaged… well, I'm not so sure I'll ever be able to have children now, but still…"

Zoro sighed. He felt like he was settling some sort of playground dispute.

"Uh, Sanji? What Usopp said is _true_."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I know… well, if you can think of a better place than the desk, I'd like to hear it!"

"No! Dammit, Sanji, Usopp is a guy! A GUY!"

Sanji shook his head, grinning. Zoro rolled his eyes.

"Usopp is a guy! A man! A NON-WOMAN!"

Usopp covered his eyes in exasperation.

"_Please_ don't make me prove it…"

Sanji looked up at him blankly. Zoro gave a long, drawn out sigh.

"Haven't you ever noticed that Usopp has no… _chest_ to speak of? Ever wondered why you've never seen him in the women's showers? Yeah, I've seen you looking."

Sanji blinked in bewilderment.

"No make-up! No skirt! No purse!"

The blonde shook his head again.

"Maybe… she's a tomboy?"

Usopp gave a strangled scream of rage.

"Don't make me take my shorts off! DON'T MAKE ME!"

"I think we might have to at this rate…"

Sanji still looked bewildered. Zoro looked heavenward. _Cover your eyes, Lord._

As Usopp was preoccupied with fuming, Zoro reached round, undoing the buckle on the front of Usopp's shorts, slinging the belt off in one swift movement.

"What the…?"

Sanji grinned.

"Oho! Someone's been practicing!"

Usopp's shorts fell with a slump around his ankles. Sanji raised an eyebrow. _Boxers?_

He shrugged.

"Oh, well. I guess comfort's comfort…"

Zoro prayed for strength. _Nothing else for it… _

One swift tug.

Usopp's boxers were now dangling around his knees.

"Zoro?"

It was strange… at that moment, Sanji appeared to have turned to stone, eyes almost starting out of their sockets. Just staring. Staring and staring and staring.

…

"Uh… Zoro? I'd like to put my underwear back on, now."

Zoro sighed, looking at the statuesque form of Sanji, paralyzed with shock. _Poor guy… I think he's got the point at last._

Sanji rose slowly, eyes still dead ahead and glassy.

"I think… I'll… finish early. Yeah. Maybe have a nice, cold, shower… G'night, Zoro. G'night…"

He glanced back at Usopp like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"G'night… uh… hmm."

The door slammed shut.

The pair stood in silence for a moment.

"I thought he took it quite well."

"Oh, I don't know, Usopp…"

Zoro looked upward.

"…he _is_ walking home without a shirt on…"

**End of Chapter 4**

Well, dear people, that is the end of this chapter! Hope you enjoyed! This is one of a pair of chapters that I like to call the 'SongChaps', or chapters with songs in them. The song featured in this is by _Queen_, called _Get Down, Make Love_. It belongs to them, so don't sue me. It's a damned cool song, too- all slow and slinky and sexy. Very Sanji, then… except for the slow part. Heh heh. I made sure to pick the lewdest (yet cleanest) song that I could think of. This chapter was quite short. It didn't end too abruptly, did it? I wrote this chapter mainly for the song, mainly so that everyone can drool over the image of Usopp wearing short shorts and glasses and sucking a lollipop, and mainly so that Sanji can say 'Yow!'. Personally, I like the touch about the desk! …XD Poor, dear Sanji-kun… what will become of him? Of course, to find out, you'll have to read the next chappie when I get round to it, won't you! HA HA HA! (pluggedy plug plug)

Till' then… xlovex LPL!

_P.S! **REVIEW **PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! THANKYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! _


	5. The Lost Paramour

Greetings, my lovlies! Sorry about the lateness of this. I blame the college work! This is a rather long chappie, so I hope you don't get bored. Happy readings! R&R as always! xLPLx

**ABPD: Love Lawless**

**Chapter 5: The Lost Paramour**

Sanji had made his way home, back to Zoro's apartment. He slowly and sadly fumbled with the lock, but, eventually realising that he would need a key, he turned his back on the door, gently sliding down it until he plopped onto the floor. There he stayed for what seemed an eternity. Even in the stale, deathly gloom of the corridor, no answers jumped out at him, nothing became any clearer- the woman he loved- that beautiful, talented, wonderful woman that had captured his heart, was, in fact…

Sanji drew his knees up to his chin, hugging his legs to his body. A slight wind whistling through the windows was starting to get to him, and this wasn't helped by the fact he'd left his shirt back at the station. He pressed his forehead to his knees, screwing his eyes shut. That face materialised through the gloom- those long, lustrous eyelashes casting shadows over flushed cheeks, that dusky, smooth skin, that _hair_… it all amounted to something so enticing that Sanji wanted it all for himself. But there was the small problem of _her_ being a **_him_**…

The blonde's head was spinning, almost painfully, from the truth. What he needed right now was a large bottle of whisky, several cigarettes, and a raid on Zoro's fridge. He could forget the whole thing. Push it all to the back of his mind. Start over.

At that moment, Zoro appeared at the door to the stairwell, carrying Sanji's shirt. Seeing the figure huddled in the doorway, he hesitated.

"Sanji…"

The blonde didn't move. Zoro cleared his throat and glanced around uncertainly.

"I've, uh… I've brought you your stuff."

His voice echoed distantly across the concrete hallway. There was no reply.

"Do you want me to let you in?" he queried, as kindly as possible, trying to mask the frustration in his voice.

Sanji shrugged indifferently, one glistening eye just visible over his bare shoulder. Zoro groaned impatiently, tossing the bag, shirt, tie and keys into a heap at the blonde's feet. He turned away, banging the stairwell door open with one hand.

"Fine. Mope. See what I care. I show you a little sympathy, and what do I get?" he let out a loud, disdainful laugh, not bothering to look back at his partner. "Whatever. Goodnight, Sanji."

He threw the door open, leaving it to close slowly behind him. But before the thin slither of light from the hallway had disappeared, he felt a hand seize him by the collar of his shirt, and, momentarily caught off balance, he was swung back through the door, the next moment finding himself pinned face first against the damp concrete wall, Sanji's harsh breathing rasping hotly in his ear.

"Y'know, I thought I was on to something. It would have been so damn perfect. Me, with a new job, a new life, and best of all, the most wonderful creature in the world on my arm, the one to make my dreams complete. But trust a certain Officer Roronoa to _screw it up_!"

Sanji bellowed the last few words at the top of his lungs, making Zoro's ears ring. A dog started baying inside one of the apartments.

"_What_? You'd rather I'd have never told the truth? Let you carry on believing that your 'wonderful creature' was a _woman_?" hissed Zoro, at which Sanji forced him up harder against the wall, twisting his wrist painfully as he did so, Zoro's chin grazed raw on the rough concrete.

"I'd _rather_-" he spat savagely, "-you'd keep your nose out of other people's business!"

He released his fierce grip from Zoro's arm, spinning round to collect his things from off the floor. Zoro turned slowly, massaging his burning wrist, trying to regain the breath that had been crushed out of him. Sanji let out a mocking laugh.

"What does it matter anyway, Zoro? I'll be gone in less than two weeks from now. None of this will matter. I can forget all about it. Easy."

His face was hidden for a moment in shadow, his expression hard to distinguish in the gloom.

"It's not like I _loved_ him or anything…"

Zoro detected a slight air of uncertainty in his voice. Looking out of the grimy window, he saw stars twinkling distantly on the red horizon.

Things were starting to come back to him. Things buried deep.

His low, quiet voice echoed strangely through the dark hall.

"You didn't… did you?"

Sanji raised an eyebrow, fumbling with the key in the lock.

"Didn't what? Screw him?"

Zoro flinched slightly with embarrassment.

"_Love_ him."

The apartment door creaked open. Sanji picked up his shirt, pushing his arms through the sleeves. He laughed airily.

"_No!_ Love a _guy?_ Don't be disgusting!"

He picked up his bag and threw it through the half-open apartment door. Zoro's voice echoed behind him.

"Good."

Sanji snapped his head up, turning an inquisitive expression towards the green haired man.

"Huh?"

But Zoro was gone. The stairwell door was swinging slowly to a close, a few pieces of litter clattering across the floor where he had just been standing. Sanji gazed out into the empty hallway for a moment longer, shrugged, and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Zoro stood at the foot of a large house situated in an avenue. He walked slowly and uncertainly up to the front door, gingerly pressing on the doorbell and waiting quietly beneath the porch. The street itself was clean, neat, with trees and shrubs planted all the way down the sidewalk. Zoro looked around, visibly impressed. It definitely wasn't cheap to live here.

The door creaked open slowly, and a bespectacled, very casual looking Usopp poked his nose outside to see who it was. He brightened as he saw Zoro bathed in the golden light from the hallway behind.

"Oh! Hey, Zoro! Come in! Would you like some coffee?"

Zoro nodded nervously, shuffling past Usopp, who shut the door behind him. The curly-haired youth gazed at his face for a moment.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, batting his eyelashes quizzically.

Zoro flushed, cursing himself as the rosy tint reached his ears.

"N-no! I just came to see if you were alright after… wh-what happened at the station…"

His sentence trailed off weakly. Usopp flapped his hand up and down impatiently.

"Oh, _that!_ I'm fine, Zoro. I think my underwear survived being yanked off. Although you did spilt a seam… tugged on them a bit _too_ hard, I think!"

Zoro cringed. Usopp laughed awkwardly.

"Ah ha ha. Ah. Sorry."

Half an hour later, Zoro was sitting on the couch in Usopp's large, airy living room, carefully sipping a scalding coffee. Usopp was busying himself in the kitchen behind. Zoro's stomach rumbled like a miniature earthquake, and he poked it tentatively, mentally trying to subdue his nagging hunger. The long nosed man gasped and ran out of the kitchen, slinging himself over the back of the couch to snatch Zoro's half-full mug away.

"Oh my goodness, where are my manners? I'll fix you up something straight away! Stay right there!"

The sound of clattering and banging rang through the kitchen door. Zoro leant back, surveying the room around him. He sighed. How could he ask Usopp _now?_ After all the trouble he'd had today… he didn't need anymore, that was certain. Maybe he should just not say anything. But with all the recent events, things in his mind had started to resurface. Not unpleasant things, but things that he would rather forget about, for his sake… and for Usopp's.

He picked up a framed photograph that sat of the coffee table in front of him. It showed the beach on a glorious, sunny day, seagulls wheeling through the azure sky. In the foreground stood Usopp, glowing radiantly (Zoro noticed, with a strange buzzing in the pit of his stomach) in the soft light, wearing a light summer shirt. He was smiling happily, looking uncharacteristically carefree. They both were. Zoro was there too, standing alongside Usopp. Both of them were grinning, almost ecstatically. Zoro's hand disappeared out of one side of the picture, as he had been holding the camera to take the photograph. The green haired man sighed, a distant expression washing over him. He remembered now…

The door to the kitchen banged open suddenly, making him jump. He spun round to see a hot and flustered Usopp clutching oven mittens and a spatula.

"Zoro, do you want mustard or… oh!"

Usopp smiled at the photograph in his friend's hand.

"Do you remember?' he said gently. "That was the year I first joined the force. We went on vacation that year. To the ocean."

Zoro nodded, putting the photograph shyly back on the table. Usopp stood ponderously for a moment more, then shrugged and disappeared back into the kitchen.

Zoro closed his eyes softly.

_I remember…_

Throwing open the door of the beach house, inviting the delicious summer breeze into the room. The whole force was there- most of the guys sharing the room had gone off to spy on Chief Nami in her bathing suit. He, however, was going to find a quiet spot and have a good, long nap. He needed that. He'd stretched, locked the door behind him, and set out a jaunty pace to find a decent place to spend a few solitary hours.

After a period of walking and climbing, he found it. A tiny bay, with sand as soft and fine as sugar, with a rocky outcrop that stretched a little way out into the docile ocean. He found a patch of springy moss and sea grass, and, lying back, let relaxation wash over his overworked and aching body.

A few minutes he'd lain there, when the distant and gentle sloshing of water reached his ears. He sat up, disgruntled that some jackass had come to ruin his peace. He scanned the flat expanse of crystal, and there it was- a tiny shadowy ripple beneath the water, quite close. It stayed there for a moment, and he'd leant in closer, to get a better view of who- or _what_- it was.

Suddenly, the shape exploded out of the sea, gasping for air- he had jumped back in alarm, watching the droplets tumble over the shape like diamonds into the chaotic water below.

Gaping, he watched the shape emerge as a figure, with smooth, lightly tanned skin, and curly shoulder length hair. The young man turned- he had figured out pretty soon that it was a man, as the dusky expanse of skin continued down, unhidden, to a bare abdomen, and, well… he'd thought maybe it would have been polite to cover his eyes, but that didn't occur to him at the time.

_Slender hands brushed over thick black curls, heavy with the ocean water._

He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

_Dark eyes beneath darker lashes._

His palms were sweating. His heart was pounding.

_Lips full and red, like deep-sea coral._

His throat was dry. His mind was on fire.

Zoro was in love.

The two men froze, simply staring at one another. The boy in the water began to tremble, his eyes growing wider, his mouth dropping open with shock, fear, and embarrassment. Zoro began to stumble an apology, but the young man got there sooner.

"I-I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

At this point, he'd leapt back, rather clumsily, into the water, trying to preserve what was left of his modesty. Crouching sheepishly with only his head and shoulders now visible, he looked up at Zoro, stray strands of jet-black hair clinging to his face.

"It's just that I… forgot my swim suit… and th-th-then everyone had gone, so I didn't think anyone would be around, and I thought I'd go for a quick… dip…"

The boy had begun to talk into his chest, as if he had just been scolded. Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"It's all right… I'm not offended by you at all. In fact, I was thinking about how much I was enjoying your…"

He choked and turned scarlet.

"I mean! Uh… n-never mind. Ahem."

There was a silence. Their gaze met again. The moment the boy met Zoro's emerald stare, he'd quickly snap his head back to looking at his chest, blushing like a bride. The edge of Zoro's mouth twitched into something like a playful smile. He shuffled closer to the water.

"What's your name?" he asked, fascinated by the lazily swimming shapes beneath the young man's bare shoulders.

The boy seemed to be catching on to the gentle inclinations in Zoro's tone. He glanced down shyly, then peered up at him through strands of ebony hair.

"I'm Usopp. I'm on vacation with my department… I'm a police officer."

Zoro cocked his head with interest. A new recruit? He looked young… 17, 18, maybe. Zoro was known to be tough on the newest cops. But… he felt like making an exception this time.

"Nice to meet you, Usopp. I'm Zoro."

He sat in thought for a moment. Drawing his arms out of his sleeves, he held out his shirt, offering it to the boy in the water.

"Come on up, sit by me. I'll lend you my shirt."

The young man gazed up at him uncertainly, clutching his arms around his body.

"Won't it get all wet?"

Zoro shrugged.

"Eh, it doesn't matter. Better than nothing, right?"

The boy hesitated, but then began to wade through the shallow water towards him, a cheery smile of gratitude now spreading across his face. Zoro smiled back, holding out the shirt in front of him like a curtain. The boy turned round, slotting his arms into the sleeves, then clambered up onto the rocks next to Zoro, one hand clenching the shirt against his body. Zoro chuckled. The shirt was so big on the other boy, it looked like a dress. Usopp glanced up at him, and then suddenly took to staring avidly at his knees, an odd expression of embarrassment and hurt flinching across his face.

"What's wrong?" queried the older man uncertainly, mentally scolding himself for _staring_ so much.

"It's too big, isn't it? Too long."

Zoro chuckled again.

"Yeah. Kinda makes you look like a girl!"

The boy looked at Zoro as if he was mad.

"Sorry?"

Zoro nervously pointed at the shirt wrapped protectively around the young man's body.

"I… I was talking about the shirt."

Usopp's hands immediately flew to clamp over his face.

"Oh… s-sorry… I thought you were staring at my nose!"

Zoro grinned, gently taking the boy's hands away from his face. The boy squinted cutely at the rather abnormal projection in between his eyes, poking it resentfully.

"All the others make fun of it."

Zoro folded his arms, taking a good long look at the curly haired youth beside him.

"Well, I'm not 'all the others', y' know." he said reassuringly, and the boy gazed up at him in awe.

"You don't think it's weird?"

Zoro laughed and shook his head.

"No."

"You don't?"

"No!"

"You really don't?"

"_No!_"

Zoro grunted irritably, and the boy sat back on his heels, punching the air with one fist.

"All right!"

He flopped back down again, kneeling in front of Zoro on all fours. His expression softened, long lashes lowering over bright brown eyes.

"I really like you, Zoro."

Zoro blinked, his trademark frown fading from his brow.

"I like you, too."

The sun certainly was getting hotter. The heat felt like it was pressing down, closing in.

Encroaching warmth.

Closer and closer and closer.

Every strand of jet-black hair, every crystal ocean drop clinging to every dark and lustrous eyelash.

Zoro closed his eyes. His breathing was shallow, matching the languorous hiss of the ocean as it broke rhythmically upon the shore, lips tingling with anticipation, heart fit to burst, feverishly awaiting the soft and heated touch of something that was not his own-

"_Zoro! Dinner's ready!_"

Zoro's eyes flicked open. He was in Usopp's living room, the smell of something tasty but slightly burnt wafting from the kitchen. He ruffled his hair with one hand, licking his lips absentmindedly, and noticed that his mouth was dry, and his heart was pounding. Usopp leaned through the half-open kitchen door. He grinned.

"Having a little nap there, Zoro? It _is_ kinda hot in here. I'll go turn the air conditioning on!"

Still slightly in the throes of his daydream, Zoro nodded dazedly, getting up slowly to sit in the kitchen.

A few minutes later, they were both seated at the small kitchen table, slurping on two large bowls of instant ramen. Usopp smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry about the meal. I guess I'm not cut out for cooking!"

_Cooking_. That word momentarily brought Sanji into the back of Zoro's mind. _Screw him. Let him sulk himself to sleep on his own. _

"Zoro?"

"Huh?"

"Is it alright? Is the ramen alright?"

Zoro nodded quickly, taking another hearty slurp from the bowl.

"Nn-hn!"

Usopp smiled kindly.

"You've always been so understanding towards me, Zoro. Even when I mess up."

Zoro flushed, his recent daydream once again flitting through his mind in selective chunks. He gulped down the last of his food, wiping the corners of his mouth whilst pretending to be engrossed in the tablecloth.

"Usopp…"

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember… when we…"

"Yes?"

"Well- do you _remember_, when we…sort of…" Zoro gesticulated silently for a moment, face contorted with the effort of finding a suitable word. "…_on vacation?_"

Usopp cocked his head inquisitively for a moment, but then the meaning of Zoro's implication dawned him. He swallowed slowly on a mouthful of food, as if trying not to choke.

"Oh?" He wound his chopsticks distractedly through the sloppy mess in his bowl. "Why do you ask?"

Zoro sat up straighter, hastily avoiding Usopp's gaze.

"Well, it's just that, with all this stuff that's happened lately, it kind of… _reminded me… _of… us."

Usopp chuckled nervously.

"As I remember it, you were a little more… _gentle_ compared to Sanji. H-he's a gentleman, but, y' know… kinda… _desperate."_

Zoro joined in with the nervous laughter.

"Ah ha… mmm."

An odd look of loathing came into Usopp's face.

"You'd _have_ to be desperate to want _me_." he muttered quietly, standing up to collect the empty bowls. Zoro glanced up, frowning.

"Huh?"

Suddenly bright and cheery again, Usopp bustled around the kitchen, busily tidying away cutlery and dropping dirty dishes and saucepans into the sink.

"Oh well! It's all over now! Back to square one! You, me, Sanji, all over. Time to start a clean single life on our own, yessiree!"

Zoro shook his head, slowly rising from his seat. The radio had been switched on at full volume, and Usopp was leant over the sink, up to his arms in overly soapy water, singing loudly to himself.

_**It's late, **_

_**Ooh, it's driving me so mad**_

_**It's late!**_

_**Yes I know, but don't try to tell me that**_

_**It's too late**_

_**Say 'I love you' and turn out the light**_

_**I've been wrong but I'll learn to be right!**_

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped tightly around his middle from behind, making him yelp in surprise.

"_Z-Zoro_?"

_**It's late, it's late, it's late,**_

_**But not too late!**_

Zoro clutched fervently at the younger man's shirt, landing light kisses on his face and neck, sending heated breath fluttering through his dishevelled hair. Usopp clung to a bowl in the sink as if his life depended on it, gasping at the weight that was now crushing him into the kitchen counter. With a valiant attempt at composure, he tried to politely shrink away from Zoro's peppered kisses.

"U-u-uh, now, Z-Zoro… wh-what are y-you doing? You should g-go home to b-bed! Y-your own nice, comfy bed!"

Zoro seemed undeterred by this, instead trying to crane round to reach Usopp's violently protesting mouth.

"Zoro! _Zoro! **ZORO!**_" yelled Usopp wildly, feeling the older man's teeth sink into the curve at the bottom of his neck.

"If you think that someone has to be desperate to want _you_…" he growled, Usopp whimpering in response- "…then consider me to be an extremely – desperate - guy!"

The curly-haired youth turned to utter some sort of counter to Zoro's notion, but was promptly silenced by a tangled meeting of lips.

"Zoro… why are you-?" Usopp managed to stutter, hands still immersed in the soapy water.

"Let's just say…" muttered Zoro indistinctly between kisses- "…now that Sanji's out of the picture, I think I'd like to re-acquaint myself with you."

Usopp swung round, flinging a pair of soapy arms around the older man's neck.

"Oh, Zorooooo…"

And, with that, the pair collapsed unceremoniously onto the linoleum floor, conveniently drowned out by the blaring radio…

* * *

Sanji was slumped on Zoro's couch, gorging himself on Zoro's stash of food. He stuffed another clump of corn chips into his mouth, tuning up the radio as he did so. As he listened to the lyrics grate through the speakers, his mind turned to Usopp.

_Crap. Not **that** again._

_**You're staring at me, with suspicion in your eye,**_

_**You say 'what game are you playing?**_

_**What's this that you're saying?'**_

_**I know that I can't reply…**_

He glanced at the telephone. Damn. He just couldn't get that stupid he… she… _whatever _out of his head.

_**If I take you tonight, is it making my life a lie?**_

_**Oh, you make me wonder-**_

_**If I lived my life right!**_

Maybe he could ask Zoro. He may be an asshole, but he sometimes knows what he's talking about. Kinda like a big brother.

_**It's late, it's late, it's late,**_

_**But not too late!**_

* * *

"Oooh…"

Zoro groaned, propping himself up painfully on his elbows. He looked down at Usopp, who was sprawled awkwardly underneath him.

"Usopp… where are my pants? I can hear my cell ringing."

The curly-haired youth pointing vaguely over to a corner of the kitchen.

"I think they landed over by the fridge." he replied hoarsley, making a feeble attempt to shift himself from the hard linoleum floor. Zoro pulled his pants towards him, fumbling for the cell phone in his pocket, flipping it open and clamping it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, it's Sanji. Where the heck are you?"_

Zoro mouthed wordlessly for a moment, glancing wildly around the room for the rest of his clothes.

"Wh-where am I? Uh…um… you mean right now?"

"_What do you think? It's 1 in the morning!" _

Usopp had now managed to prop himself against one of the counters, fanning himself with one hand whilst patting around the floor for his underwear with the other. He grinned, reeling slightly.

"Geez, and you didn't even let me finish the dishes! Talk about _spontaneous!_"

"_Who is that?" _asked Sanji, suspicion heavy in every word.

"N-nobody! I'm, uh… I'm on a train."

"_Right…"_

Sanji didn't sound entirely convinced. Zoro grimaced. Usopp had crawled over, and was now draped over one side of him, laying a small, warm hand on his bare abdomen.

"Zoroooo… hang up…"

The green haired man gulped, turning to mouth desperately in Usopp's direction- _It's Sanji! He wants to know where I am! _The younger man rolled his eyes, resting his chin on Zoro's chest and gazing up at him with a beguiling puppy-dog expression, tracing his name across Zoro's flat, firm expanse of stomach.

"Zoro, pleeease?"

"_No, really, who **is** that?"_

"Uh! Um! Oh! I-I-I'm coming up to a tunnel! I'm gonna break off! See you later! Bye!"

"_Hey, wait a minute! I-" _Click.

Zoro turned a scolding frown on Usopp's beaming countenance.

"Christ, Usopp, you nearly blew my cover!"

Usopp chuckled, pressing the tip of his long nose against Zoro's.

"I don't care."

The older man sighed, reluctantly removing Usopp's wandering hands from his stomach.

"I'd best get back. Sanji's getting suspicious. And _I'm_ starting to feel guilty."

Usopp sighed in disappointment, gazing balefully up at him as he wandered around the kitchen, his clothes haphazardly strewn around the floor.

After an extensive search to find his boxers (which, inexplicably, had ended up being caught on the ceiling fan) Zoro stood at the threshold of Usopp's front door, ready to step out into the relative cool of the early morning. The atmosphere felt slightly awkward.

"Well… I'll see you tomorrow."

Usopp nodded, pulling the hem of his shirt over his bare legs. He leant towards Zoro momentarily, but the pair ended up in a rather nervous hug, parting a few seconds later.

"Goodbye."

He walked down the steps slowly, turning to see the door shut gently behind him.

The trains wouldn't be operating at this time. Zoro sighed, slinging his bag over one shoulder.

It looked like he would be taking the long way home…

**End of Chapter 5**

Gasp! I thought I would die then. Yes I did. The end of chapter 5, finally! I was having a mini celebration, actually. I saw on my stats that this story has now had over 1000 hits! A little landmark to call my own, yosh! Thankyou to everyone who has read this humble story!

Now then, what to say about this chapter? Hmm. Well, those song lyrics are, in fact, also by _Queen_, and the song is _It's Late_. Great song. Don't sue me!

The part where Zoro first meets Usopp was inspired by a scene from a French comic called _Adios Palomita_. The girl in it even looks vaguely like Usopp! XD It took a long time to think about how to write that part. I hope you enjoyed it!

Naughty, naughty Usopp. Using kitchen floors as they were never meant to be used. But, as I'm sure many Usopp fans will agree, it's about time he got some action! Narf!

And… oh noes! Zoro and Usopp? Whatever next? Some would say it's like chalk and cheese. They don't mix. But when writing it, I thought- 'Hey! This sounds like it's working!' So, apologies to whoever became instantly disgusted and flicked right off this story, but hey- I tried!

Sanji didn't appear very much in this chappie. I'M SORRY! His story will appear next time.

Thankyou very much for reading! Until next time!


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